How Do You Behave If You Are Emotionally Intelligent?

By R. Siva Kumar - 10 Jun '15 22:34PM
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Emotional Intelligence is the main factor that set the "star performers" apart from the rest of the pack. About 90 percent of the highest rankers have the highest emotional intelligence. A high emotional quotient, or EQ, helps you to "manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results."

For most, emotions are a bewildering mess, according to yahoo. Only those with good EQ can check how they can control and incorporate emotions into their intellect.

Check out the various traits that pave the way for those of you who have good EQ.

1. Firstly, you need to have a "robust emotional vocabulary." Just 36 percent of people are able to identify what they feel. Unlabeled emotions are often misunderstood, leading to "irrational choices and counterproductive actions". Hence, the high EQ-ers are those who are able to describe their feelings precisely. For instance, some could call themselves feeling just "bad," but emotionally intelligent people are able to pinpoint exactly what they feel----"irritable," "frustrated," "downtrodden," or "anxious." You would know what to do about it too, according to time.

2. Secondly, you would be curious about people, whether they are introverted or extroverted. It is a product of empathy and caring.

3. If your EQ is high, you would be open to change, and would be flexible and adaptable. Resistance to change is paralyzing and threatens success and happiness. You would constantly look for change and are able to cope with it.

4. You know your strengths and weaknesses, what you are good at as well as terrible at. You are able to identify the button-pushers, the environments and keep the weaknesses from holding you back.

5. You can judge character immediately. Hence, you would be socially aware, able to read people well and understand them. You can judge characters well, in spite of their enigmas. You can understand their hidden agendas and motivations.

6. You would not get offended fast, and are self-confident as well as open-minded. You might even be open to jokes about yourself as well as others, as you could identify degradation immediately.

7. Say 'No' immediately and firmly, so that you can honour your own commitments, otherwise, you would be subject to stress, burnout, and even depression. As 'No' is a major self-control challenge for many, you should avoid hedging phrases such as "I don't think I can" or "I'm not certain." Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing ones and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

8. You learn from mistakes. While you can't forget your mistakes, you could adapt and adjust for success. Turn your failures and use them to learn and climb the ladder of success.

9. You give and expect nothing in return, in order to build strong relationships that constantly think about others. Giving automatically builds up a good impression about you. 

10. You don't hold grudges, which makes you free of tension, blood pressure and heart disease. Resenting old problems just sends you into a boiling fight-or-flight mode, which would force you to stand up and fight, or escape from a threat. Holding onto a grudge makes you grasp stress.

11. You neutralize toxic people, keeping your feelings in check. What do you feel at the moment? Look at it from the other person's point of view, find solutions and lay a common ground. Even when things are derailed, you need to take what people say with a grain of salt.

12. Avoid perfection, because it doesn't exist. Perfectionists always feel a "nagging sense of failure" that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up lamenting that you did not achieve something, instead of feeling happy that you achieved what you did, and what you will in future.

13. You appreciate what you have and improve your mood by reducing stress and the hormone cortisol by almost 23 percent. Research shows that those who work hard to cultivate gratitude can improve their moods, energy, and physical well-being.

14. Disconnect from emails and the telephone. Take short breaks off from them, otherwise you would be inviting stress and the expectation that you should be available for work all the time.

15. You get enough sleep, as it is important to recharge your brain, sift through the day's memories and either store or throw them away, so that you can wake up "alert and clearheaded." Sleep is a high priority in order to retain your self-control, memory and mood.

16. Think positive, be happy that things are coming round your way. Separate your thoughts from the facts and work for a positive, new outlook.

17. Let your self-worth come from within, not from the opinions of others. Otherwise, you become a prisoner of their opinions and thoughts about you. Do not become a prisoner of your public image. Just estimate yourself and reach for your self-worth in your own way.

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